I have been serving in church since the age of 12. Following in the foot steps of my father as one of the church soundman, I started likewise at Children’s Church. Then through the scores of ministries the church had to offer from Children, Youth, Young Adults, Worship, Life Group, Missions, Events. You name it, the whole 9 yards! I was serving in each one, often a couple at the same time. I think church kids can relate!
Being a fulltime Pastor was never a pinnacle of church ministry for me! Most of you may have heard stories through the hallways of the church about – what the life of a pastor is, the church office dramas and what’s all the fuss about using the church pantry! I can tell you that most of it is true, but often not quite in context as well. Until like myself – I found myself working as a pastor, in the church office and using the church pantry! (I now get what the fuss is about)
Truthfully, it has been 7 amazing years! Life changing would be an understatement. From receiving my calling to be a pastor at 17, then 10 years of shelving it or in hindsight it was preparation, and another 7 years of fulfilling it as a fulltime vocation! Am truly humbled that God would consider and entrust me with such a privilege to serve at this level. Grateful for the many placed above and beside me that have believed, supported and cheered me on. Grateful for the many new friends, partners and resources in ministry that have complemented the work and added to be part of my life.
As I took time to reflect on this amazing season, here are 7 lessons from me to you!
Lesson 1: My Why
Lesson 2: It Starts & Stops with Me Lesson 3: Definition of Success Lesson 4: Prayer & Fasting Lesson 5: Family & Friends
Lesson 6: Life Long Learning
Lesson 7: Authenticity
Lesson 1: My Why
I needed to get this right from the starting block. “Why am I here?”
If you’re here for a do good, feel good, spiritual high moment you had at the altar call to be THE leader. You definitely need a leadership mentor right away! If you’re here for the recognition, position and promotion of an office job. You definitely need a life coach right away! If you’re here to fulfill a sense of charity, contribution and conscience that you’re doing some soul searching work. You need a counselor right away! I had all 3 walking me through and yet I needed to keep coming back to my Why.
You will get tested, tempted, discouraged, disappointed, misunderstood, misrepresented, abandoned, accused, belittled, betrayed. You name it, it’s coming for you! It’s not that there are people in the church that are intentionally wanting to see you do badly or want to be mean to you (maybe just one or two). Rather it’s in a church, you’d find broken people still being pieced together bit by bit, to be made more into the likeness of Jesus day by day. We’re not perfect, not pleasant all the time and when we forget we’ve walked into church and not the wet market, we forget our Christlike best whether at church services, committee meetings or amongst ourselves in our private fellowship groups. That’s when you’d need to ask for the added grace of God to serve. Because more than anything else, God is working in you so that he can work through you.
Will you then quit? I had twice prepared my resignation letter in the first 2 years of being in fulltime ministry. It’s true. If not for refocusing and coming back to my Why, I would have prematurely concluded what God wanted for and from me to complete.
If you’re asking “David, what was your Why?” My Why was and still is simple – obedience. I desired to be obedient to the assignment the Lord laid in my heart. It was not easy. Obedience unto God is never easy. Yet, simple enough. Each time I went through a tough time, I’d look into the mirror of my heart and say “Be obedient.”
Lesson 2: It Starts & Stops with Me
As a leader there’s a misconception that you need to be all and know all. In recent years with more light shed on emotional mental health. Leaders too have been able to be more vulnerable to admit they are just but – human. Yet as a leader, the reality is that it starts and stops with you. You set the pace, the height, the depth and breadth of how you would lead your team and the community of people. You’re the one that after all the think thanks, brainstorming and consultation with EVERYONE – gives the final ‘Ok’ to the direction, vision, mission, values and the entire structural charter of what needs to be done.
You are responsible. You will be held accountable. You will get the credit. You will get the blame. It starts and stops with you. Were there days I wanted to stop – yes. Were there days I wanted to jump ahead of everyone – yes. What made me keep going? It was consistency.
I reminded myself that the people I led, those whom I’d answer to and the results we were working towards to required consistency from me. Being erratic, unreliable and self-centered was not what I desired even for myself, let alone others of me. My role model of consistency has to be Jesus. The Bible in Hebrews 13:8 says ‘Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.’ To some, same seems boring. But to me consistency speaks of character.
Lesson 3: Definition of Success
At the beginning of my vocation as a fulltime pastor. I was blessed to have been networked with a group of peers who were either of similar age or life season to serve together in the national youth department of the Assemblies of God – Youth Alive Malaysia. Beyond what we did, was what we journeyed through together to this very day that made such an impact personally for me. I got to glean from our different backgrounds, stories and personhood to learn one major lesson – stewardship.
Beyond the day filled with applause and well wishes when you were announced to be coming in full time, you’d realize the cheer leaders and supporters leaving way before half time. To begin with some didn’t even know the ‘player’ they were rooting for. They were just part of the ecstatic crowd! huh. You’d find soon enough, you’re left to yourself and you begin wondering “Aren’t they concerned of how I’m doing and if I’m still standing?” That’s when you snap yourself back into reality and muster up every ounce of faith within you to ask God to help you keep looking forward and keep trudging on faithfully. After all, it wasn’t them that called you in right? You’d be blessed if you can count within the handful of time, when one of your church member, team member or superior takes you out for coffee to find out how you’re doing or even remembers your birthday.
Or how about the many hours of work seen, unseen, heard or unheard you put in to prepare for teaching, preaching, meetings, services, events, workshops, conferences, camps, retreats and etc. You balance the need for spiritual markers to be met, keeping the budget, getting in the numbers, managing expectations, keeping everyone safe and getting people discipled in the entire process. Which of these are success markers?
What all these has taught me, is that my faith is in God and my faithfulness is for God. I need to steward this accurately unto the Lord. My benchmark of excellence is not contingent on how others respond to me (though as a human, encouragement does wonders to your emotional state) neither should it affect how I respond to God and others. It’s tough but not impossible. This has sifted my definition of success, to ‘obediently follow God with excellence.’
Lesson 4: Prayer & Fasting
I am thankful that I had practiced the discipline of prayer and fasting from a young age. I would take part in the church corporate prayer and fasting initiatives and begin to experience tremendous growth as a young boy. I would then attempt it on my own one or two more times additionally in the year.
Prayer and fasting has been a regular discipline as I began serving fulltime as a pastor these 7 years. It has reinforced the reality that in Christ alone is my source of identity, purpose, strength and future. I would pace myself and would eventually attempt to go as far as I can with minimal food, water, treats and distractions. Going past my threshold of regular personal – worship, prayer, Bible reading and waiting in the presence of God. Usually 20 to 30 days per duration. I want to pause here for a moment, and encourage my Millennial and Gen Z friends who fast ONLY from social media – make fasting from social media an add on to food and water. They’re after all a core essential to a human’s survival. Then you’d feel the full effect of fasting just as Jesus did. Just saying. It’s Biblical – Jesus didn’t have Instagram, Tiktok, Discord, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Netflix, multiple app chat groups nor Gaming to fast from.
Prayer and fasting has been evident that my intimacy, dependence and strength in God increases each time. I grow personally and so does the gifts within me grows too. The process has affirmed truly God alone is my source and has humbled me time and time again that I am indeed so frail, weak and carnal as a human being. It has filled me with an unquenchable thirst for God’s Word and His presence. Filling a reservoir of communion with him that is building my inner life stronger and deeper. That without such disciplines, being a pastor would be impossible by my own efforts.
Lesson 5: Family & Friends
When I came in fulltime at 28, I was already working close to a good 10 years in the marketplace. It was a huge shift to adapt to working in a church office, pursuing my theological degree – going for morning & night classes, studying and working on assignments; having a young family to care for – my son was 3 when I made the transition, 6 when I graduated. Not withstanding whatever available time left given to serve the national youth ministry. When people make the assumption that it was comparatively more relaxed and slower paced to being in the marketplace, I would politely interject to say ‘I am even more busier, stressed and exhausted than I was before!’
Time was my greatest asset. I had to make time for everything. The power of scheduling is something I’d like to recommend. Take time at the beginning of each week/day to write down your to do list. Be specific to narrow down the date, time and place of an appointment so that time is not wasted going back and forth on setting the appointment. Making sure it is firm not canceled last minute. Keep each meeting, ministry session and even follow up meal well maximized so you are present – there in the moment! This will also enable you to schedule more items within a day, week, month and even the year. So that prime time can be made for family, friends and may I add for personal time too. Not leftover time!
I like what my mentor, Ps Benny Ho said on his 60th birthday reflection and quite aptly as his 1st lesson on – My Family is My Precious Cargo ‘…place priority in cultivating a healthy family life. Make time for your family. Spend time with your children while they are still with you. Before you know it, they will be flying the coop. Carve out a weekly “dedicated time” to spend with your spouse. Our spouses do not ask us for all our time; they only need a “dedicated time” that is focused and undivided. This will help keep our marriages delightful and healthy even after our children have grown and our nest is empty.’
How true! I appreciate my wife, son, family and close friends for being so gracious and generous to me during those 7 years.
Lesson 6: Life Long Learning
I was never a book reader as a young boy. I was intrigued how some of my friends could go through volumes of books in a matter of weeks and months. God answered my prayer to be a book reader by learning a simple principle of developing a habit of reading 1 page a day while I was an entrepreneur. It grew from 1 page to many pages, and soon I began to devour my own share of books, articles, CDs (yes they were still around in the 2000s), workshops, YouTube videos and certainly podcasts.
I learned that I needed to keep fuelling my passion by keeping myself informed, thinking and reflecting on ideas, perspectives and knowledge. If I wanted to present my heavenly master whom had entrusted me with the talents he had given to me, I wanted to be able to present him with more when he returns for what rightfully belonged to him in the first place!
Life long learning has taught me consistently that I know too little to ever be mastered by any one subject. Making time to speak to people willing to share their knowledge regardless of how old or young they are, learning to ask good questions, reading/listening widely and being open to correction, feedback and commendation are just but a few lessons I have learnt. Pick one at a time, grow that habit and move on to the next to keep growing as a person!
Lesson 7: Authenticity
Growing up I had several leaders and pastors that made lasting impressions (positive and negative) on me. It had also left me with different types of molds to consider, as I myself became a leader and pastor of my own. This was one of the hardest lesson I had in these 7 years – being authentic. In the first few years I found myself trying to fit into my former predecessors moulds. Like a square peg in a round hole, it didn’t work out! It in fact backfired against me a number of times. I had to humbly and honestly ask my team mates for their observations and it truly was heart breaking. That in the process of being someone I was not, I had not led at my best. Worst, causing others to hurt because of it, because of me.
I learnt then to seek the help of mentors, counselors and coaches to peel back the layers to find out who I was as a person, a son, a brother, a husband, a father, a friend, a leader, a pastor and funneling it down to simply being a child of God. These were wise council of people that I had sought for them to speak into my life – to offer me knowledge, wisdom, perspective and caution. I submitted myself to Biblical overseers. Saying that you prayed and sense God leading you to do this or that, can be better discerned with Godly men that would be able to affirm, clarify and prayerfully journey with you. Ask ourselves what’s stopping us from this extra process. More often than not, it’s the lack of humility – pride. Something I had to painfully learn and constantly keep before me.
This entire process enabled me to lead with authenticity. I embraced being comfortable in my own skin so to say. Learning to be courageous to embrace my unique strengths and gifting, to work on my weakness and shortcomings only to find myself beginning to enjoy my season as a fulltime pastor. As I learned to focus on running in my own lane, I was able to do things which were meant for me. It wasn’t too late for me, neither will it ever be for you!
These are my 7 lessons in 7 years. I hope it has inspired and provided you some handles to consider for yourself. I look forward to hearing and learning from your lessons in life too. Let’s do it over a meal or coffee soon!
David Yong
September 2021
