“Hi Coach, I need an SOS call with you…” that was my breaking point.
In our short time together, I will share from one of my most vulnerable points in life and the most valuable lessons I am learning from it. I hope this will give you your own vantage point to avoid the pitfalls I went through and embrace the learnings I am experiencing.
I was prepared for The Trial of Faith
Months before, in my private devotion I was led through the Old Testament books of Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel. There was a resounding personal theme that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me from these 3 books of the Bible. ‘Let nothing steal your joy and peace.’ Little did I know, I was being prepared for what would come next!
Rug pulled from under me
As the Malaysian economy began opening up from the closure of MCOs, my business partners of 3 different companies (and distinctly different industries) began to prompt me to get ready. To start making preparations to resume business building activities. With that I transitioned from a steady place of employment, to a steep pace of self-employment. I got busy. Too busy in-fact! I even took on 2 Bible College courses in an attempt to complete my Diploma in Ministerial Counselling. Not forgetting, my wife too who along with me was also led to that same leap of faith, at the same timing – of self-employment business building. Check out her ad-venture https://edutreelearning.com.my/ . We both were seemingly in the same storm, but of different boats!
As I prepared this update throughout December 2021, I now see myself in a Peter moment (Matthew 14:28-33). Like Peter, I was sure of the miracle working water walking Jesus. I stepped out! God was indeed calling out to me, but i got distracted. Distracted by the winds of busyness. That I began to take my eyes off him. I began to sink. All 3 of my business endeavours came to an abrupt halt. The expression ‘the rug was pulled from under me’ is so apt. Bizarre yet incredibly well engineered timing, it was as if God just nudged at that red emergency button on the train of my life and it all came to a grace filled peaceful Stop.
The Breaking Point
I had thought the worst of my trials ended 8 years ago, when consistently me and my wife took the step of obedience and faith then, to go into full-time church ministry. It was incredibly tough! This time however, it felt even steeper spiritually, overwhelming emotionally, and demanding physically. We were led through a deeper more painful breaking point. The cost unsurprisingly, was yet again the same – to die to self and lay everything on the altar of obedience. It was hard. I was cornered. I just broke down. In a moment of utter despair, I sent that one message I knew my life coach would know “David needs me NOW.” I asked only 2 questions. One – “What do I do?” Two – “Can you allow me to cry with you over the phone?”
It took a few days to recollect myself and by sheer coincidence or by divine orchestration, I was due to start my final leg of prayer and fasting for 2021 for the next 2 weeks. If it wasn’t already difficult enough!
The Waiting Game
Generally no one likes to wait. At the traffic light, when the video buffers or when God prompts us to. The 14 days of prayer and fasting felt like those 40 years for the Israelites! (I exaggerate) Because in my nature, I am a thinker, a planner and a person of action. Yet, I and another close friend whom we’re journeying through this season together, also affirmed that he too sensed as if God saying “Stop planning, thinking, networking, doing anything. Stop.” It’s hard for me not to think, plan and act. It frustrates me when I can’t. But as I said earlier, I was being prepared. Prepared to not let anything steal my joy and peace. Even if that meant perhaps my own self too for being that culprit! I could only – wait. I also sensed the Holy Spirit leading me to be ministered to. Perhaps to counsel me, teach me, correct me or even to discipline me. What was certain, my attention that he got hold of.
God is Almighty
Coming through the Covid-19 pandemic and the recent floods here in Malaysia, we’ve probably heard or seen from a distance people who have had to endure lost. Lost of income. Lost of health. Lost of possessions. Lost of loved ones. Lost of hope. It is not until we have experience such lost, where we begin to identity better with the sense of utter despair it ushers us into.
My devotion during the few weeks of December and leading through my 14 days of prayer and fasting were from the books of Job and Daniel. If there wasn’t a more ‘encouraging’ portion of the 66 books of the Bible to be going through! Yet, God spoke to me and I began being drawn deeper into His Word and His Presence. Both men of God – Job and Daniel, yielded themselves to the fact that God is Almighty. That he can do as he wills and pleases. In all that they both went through, they kept their faith and fortitude in the Lord as what they had been doing each and everyday irregardless of the situation. I had to learn, and be reminded of that again.
God is Good (really he is)
God enabled Seaw Chin and I, the wisdom to be taught and to set up an Emergency Buffer Fund (Dave Ramsey’s Baby Step 3 and Rajen Devadason’s – Building Your Financial Fortress) of 3-6 months of expenses savings should ever either one of us be out of a full-time salary. This would allow us to have sufficient to cushion us for a reasonable amount of time until God releases his divine providence whether that be in the form of employment, consistent stream of revenue from our businesses or by his other means. Secondly, this situation has given me time after MANY years of working a couple of months to rest. I started working since I was 20 years old. I had not had the luxury of ‘a couple of months to rest.’ Next, I was led into the company of my community of likeminded God honouring men. Valued friends and most whom I even regard now as family to me, to share with each other and be mutually edified by what God was doing in our lives, the lessons we are learning and the future that is potentially ahead of us. And finally, like a good 3 point sermon conclusion – God is Good because in all of this, like the men of renowned faith (Hebrews 11) God gets all the Glory when they had received what had been promised to them. And it is also important to note within that same context, that there were also another group whom ‘These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised…‘ I have come to realise, I will still be yet again humbled to learn this over and again in seasons to come, that my obedience is better than any of my seemingly well intentioned or prideful sacrifice. That it is only by his Spirit, not by my might, nor power. So that I do – His will, His way, His timing. To never be too busy of my own business, but to be of his and all things will be added, given, taken care of, everything that’s needed (Matt 6:33). On the plus point, if I ever do mess up, I get to say that Shaggy line ‘It wasn’t me’ and yet God still gets all the Glory when he bails me out of it. So you see, God is indeed really Good.
What next?
At the point of concluding this, (happy new year btw) I really can’t say definitely what is next. However, I am certain it will be a process of building and birthing forth into God’s best for me and the family. Coming through from my prayer and fasting season, I do sense a few things that God is allowing me to pursue or continue on. One, if you followed me on my previous 2 blog posts, I mentioned about Common Ground the house church ministry. I sense God leading me to begin come January 2022. So that will be exciting and I will update us soon. Next, the green light to start sifting out existing/new job offers and business building opportunities with those whom God will bring my way. Finally, to start thinking, planning and taking action on developing the most out of 2022 for myself, the family and the things God has laid in my heart for his Kingdom.
Pastor and Theologian, Warren W. Weirsbe framed what faith is so well from the context of the book of Hebrews. ‘True Bible faith is not blind optimism or a manufactured “hope-so” feeling. Neither is it an intellectual assent to a doctrine. It is certainly not believing in spite of evidence! That would be superstition. True Bible faith is confident obedience to God’s Word in spite of circumstances and consequences. This faith operates quite simply. God speaks and we hear His Word. We trust His Word and act on it no matter what the circumstances are or what the consequences may be. The circumstances may be impossible, and the consequences frightening and unknown; but we obey God’s Word just the same and believe Him to do what is right and what is best.’
As the author of Hebrews seeks to encourage us in our own faith journey, the Word of God exhorts us – ‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.’ Hebrews 12: 1-3. There is an emphasis on a future hope.
Too often, we too like the readers of this letter then are prone to look back and want to go back. Rather, be encouraged, as I am, unlike Peter that begins to sink because we too get our eyes of faith off our Saviour, we can instead follow Jesus’ better example. Looking ahead to future joys, and be enabled by His Spirit to endure!
Keeping my eyes on Jesus.
David Yong January 2022
