Before God change our circumstances, He wants to change our hearts. If our circumstances change for the better but we remain the same, then we will become worse. God’s purpose in providence is not to make us comfortable but to make us conformable – “conformed to the image of His Son.” Christlikeness is the divine goal for each of His children – Warren W.Wiersbe
When I was a young boy, I remembered being enthralled (nicer way of saying jealous) by some of my friends and family who seemed to have it all. Whether it was fancy toys, cool sneakers, ‘branded’ tertiary education or the oversea holidays. What we could manage then were the on-sale-birthday-only toys, the need only gadgets, ok-enough sneakers, local kebangsaan schools or travel by car budgeted holidays. Even as you yourself begin to have your own moment of reminiscing – did I understand “why me?” then, not really. At present day 2023, will by having that European SUV, gated guarded house/premium condominium, luxury clothing, sending our now own children to better private/international schools or by having those Instagramable overseas holidays be the definition of having it all or making it in life? I don’t know, is it necessary, what is excess? Some may say so, some may not. What about difficulties, pain and suffering? I may not understand any or all of it as well, but I do know these issues of life are not easy.
I write this more for myself as a time stamp and believing that at some point, you the – parent, young person, Christian minister, workplace employee or what your season in life is, reading this will receive something from either the Biblical values or actual life examples shared, and that it will connect with you and help you in your own journeys in some simple or significant way.
**Long read ahead. I know some enjoy or don’t mind the depth and details. But if you want a quick read, bookmark it and come back when you’re on holiday!
Transition within the transition
I took some time off writing and updating, as I allowed myself to go through yet another transition (I know right). For some context, you can follow me from this link onwards as I share my earlier transitions and the journeys that followed – https://davidyongtarwei.com/blog/the-journey/ . So, the transition within the transition – there was a moment mid way my present transition (after being a fulltime church pastor, to then being in the marketplace these 2021-2023) that I sensed God nudging me to say, it’s time to move from this phase into your next season. Be properly settled down and start building again. So from April of 2023, I allowed myself to be led once again into transition and to be completely yielded to God’s direction. Whatever that may be – being a church pastor once again, moving to another country, staying in the same company, doing something completely different or any other outcomes. While transitions may be seemingly exciting and often times over romanticized, they can be very exhausting! You are on edge, you have people you love who are anxious for you and you can’t help to be constantly thinking of the realities of life – everyday responsibilities. In such processes, it can be upended and if you’re unprepared for it, it can actually turn you upside down! Emotionally, physically, relationally and especially financially. And who likes to be at the mercy of not knowing what’s going to happen? I don’t think that’s you, neither myself. Thankfully the Lord prepared me well in advance for my transition phase, even then, I still did mess up a little. So, am neither perfect.
Some would say, is it even necessary to go through such a process? Why not just go by which ever good opportunity that presents itself to you and take that as God’s best for you. Or if that has been what you’ve been praying for or wanting – actually comes to past, take it and run with it as from God. I believe those ways can prove to be alright, should it be discerned and there’s clarity. Yet, I’ve also come to discover that there are those who would like me and even others that go to greater lengths, to wait on God and discern patiently what are His next steps. So I’ve learned to not to be envious, not feel threatened, nor be ashamed to Biblically live out my relationship with God, whilst being authentically who I am. Just as there were in the Bible, opposites that each had their own unique strengths and convictions – Peter and Thomas; Barnabas and Paul; Martha and Mary; Moses and Abraham. So I’ve learnt to follow what God seems to be leading me to do and if I may need more clarity I cross check it against His Word and with reliable mature believers. Apply faith alongside wisdom.
Journeying together
One of the things I did however do differently this time round was to get my mentors and inner circle to journey with me right from the beginning of the process, all throughout and even consult them before I made any decisions. Don’t need to, but I wanted to. I gained so much comfort, companionship, perspective and wisdom just by that. It reinforced humility and gratitude, when you are able to allow companions to journey through your highs and especially low lows and contribute meaningfully into your life. Beyond that, these were also my prayer partners. They fought by my side, with me, at the spiritual battlegrounds to bring before God their petitions for me and my family. At different moments I would reach out to them, and at opportune moments they would themselves reach out to me. When you invite and allow mature followers of Jesus to journey with you, there is a beautiful rhythm of exchanging – reflection, petition and therein also submission to one another and to God. Pretty amazing. Am truly blessed!
Sometimes we ask ourselves, “Why can’t it be me that have it just as good as that person?” But the truth is, there is just about another person that would have their own narrative when comparing against us! Yes, you’d be surprise you’d have something to offer someone from what you think your seemingly measly life can’t seem to offer. We also assume that if they seem to be having it all, they must be having it all – good. But how sure are we, that they too don’t go through trying medical issues of their own, sleepless financial challenges and even painful relationship phases. Right? So, these were some of the narratives that I had to daily put to death. Otherwise, as I’ve experienced in the past, it would cloud and disorientate me from what God was trying to show, teach and lead me to. Not being focused on the right source. Distractions.
Waiting on God
Waiting on God is never easy. You are essentially Isaac on that slab of rock, looking upwards, your hands and feet bound; knowing that you really have no clue what’s going on or about to happen. While there is also a part of you that is Abraham, where you are completely wrecked knowing you are about to give, kill and be left empty handed with what you once thought was your everything – ‘the blessing.’ Extremely as well, you could be so fixated on the goal of having the blessing, that you completely miss out on the process of molding and the journeying with God, which is of greater worth – the gift giver. And oh, may I add since we’re on Abraham, adversely we could be pushing way too hard and trying to self-manufacture our own promises. We want it now, we want it our way. That, would invite the discipline of God, for sure! Now, where was I? So from April all the way to November of 2023, 8 long months I waited. God used different ones to speak to me. God used different ones to comfort me. Yet, God also used different ones to test and teach me. It was also in this time I was once again affirmed by God, that it is not in my giftings or talents that I find my security nor identity, rather it is in God. I am His child, I am an heir to His kingdom. The cattle on the hills they belong to Him, the hills itself are His!
In reflection, during these 2 years I was offered promising lead roles in both the church and corporate world. Several offers to be a senior pastor, several offers to migrate, several offers for senior church ministry roles, several offers to take up senior corporate roles and even to take over a multi-million ringgit company. Just several offers. All of which I turned down then, because I sensed it was a ‘No’ or ‘Not yet’ from God. Tell me about it right? This was when beyond just praying and discerning on my own, I got my mentors and inner circle to weigh in and be my sounding board. Was it humanly frustrating, exhausting and depressing – yes. But my peace and hope in God held. I’ve learnt, so I applied from my learnings, to keep going back to God’s Word, Worship and Prayer. And importantly to observe God’s timing for everything! Nevertheless, it was certainly an assurance from God that I was given value, acknowledgement for my expertise and experiences. Yet, knowing it meant nothing if God hasn’t given His go-ahead.
I reflected, that within these 2 years of transitioning within a transition, God has been so good. Tangible examples – I had a job that paid me sufficiently for all of our bills as a family. What we needed, it was provided. When we needed to change our ailing old cars, God blessed us with new ones we could afford. When we had our major medical procedures, our insurance were released for it. Were there bills and situations that pushed us right to the edge? Yes. Yet, in everything that was needed, it was provided. Was everything we wanted given? No. Was I ok with that, honestly yes, only after I reflected and submitted it back to God again. Do I hope someday we will be able to get what we want? Certainly. But on God’s terms and by His own providence.
I Don’t Understand
So, did I understand what was happening, not at all! There were many times, that God nudged me to kneel publicly during worship in church. I would often ask, “You sure Lord? You sure you want me to kneel? Here? Now?” And it was as if the Lord had to say “Yes la, must I nag you and make you??” But no, the Lord has always been very gentle with me, just a simple “Yes son, now.” And each time as I did that, I sensed more and more of my pride and self dependence was given to God. I sensed I gained more confidence to trust God, strength to persevere on and grace to grow. It was also in these postures, I was even more convicted by God of my own known or unknown – sins and shortcomings. I was put in my place as a sinner that is saved by grace and in need of His mercy daily. Just being real with you.
Now, I am just as human as you are. What that means is, I too have my own thresholds just as you. November was mine. And so, the journey to the very ledge began right about in August and till the end of November of 2023. The push and pull between waiting and wrestling; being at peace and persevering; yielding and yearning for a breakthrough was intense to say the least. Some of you can some what understand, “I feel you David. Right there with you.” So as I journeyed through the months and head towards the highs and lows of it, certainly the endurance of leading into the last lap needed to kick in. It was steep, it was dark, it was also filled with promise all at the same time. I was holding on to God for his providence, that something would just show up – an offer, an interview, something!
Then it happened!
One by one, the offers once again came in ever so subtly, it actually caught me by surprise! This time I knew in my spirit man – it’s time! It’s for my taking. In total I received 5 offers (yes, mind-blown). You ask, “What’s different? How is it now?” I’m glad you asked! Journeying with God ever so closely causes you to be in step with God. You discern better. You receive clarity quicker. Less foggy. You are able to hear His voice, see his hand and know his heart. It is amazing! After the 5th one came in, I sensed the Lord saying “Now choose.” How bout that!
Over the course of these few months, God has been streamlining and sifting the arenas of focus for my next season. In no order of lesser or greater importance – Marketplace. Disciple-making. Family. Friends. Local Church. So what I would choose would meet these arenas. Therein also, my personal requests if the Lord could grant – a work place closer to home (I could no longer take the daily 2-3 hour jam to and from my office and home), service oriented organization and being seasonal in nature. As well as, a vocation that gave me the flexibility of time during the weekdays – to join in with my wife to be more present with our son for school visits, medical emergencies and school holiday activities. As well as, to have the time during the weekdays to meet different ones for disciple-making and various ministry assignments. So with this new vocation that I chose, it will enable me to do that! Yes, it met all of the above and even more! Simply amazing. Praise God!
As an added bonus update – upon confirming that vocation offer, a week later, I received a call from a pastor of the local church I am worshipping at, that is re-pioneering a new ministry per se, which I had myself once pioneered and led a number of years ago. An area of ministry that is still very much my passion and portfolio till this day. To be part of a startup team, collaborate and serve the needs that will come our way. I have been praying for the Lord’s leading to serve at our local church and just when we as a family decided to be members of the church after the 2 years of settling in, the Lord presents this timely joy to serve Him. So let’s see where God leads with this too! All I did was wait, continue being faithful and remain available. Amazing isn’t it? The Lord knows best.
So let me leave a few pointers from the lessons I’ve learned above:
1. God’s Waiting Room:
Waiting is not easy. When you can actually choose to act on your own, you instead are restraining yourself from it. God’s waiting room invites you to trust Him in spite of that, that you submit your will to His and take on His peace as you wait for His providence. You yield your desires and ask God for a blank slate so you be completely and unreservingly open to any thing He may present to you. You yield your pride and strength so you can be humbled and vulnerable enough to recognize that it is not you, but God who wills and works. Perseverance is key, because unlike the world we live in where we are constantly gratified instantly, God’s ways are contrary. Suddenly – yes, but rarely – instantly. If you desire to be led here, ask for it. Then ask for His providence for the process.
2. God’s Warfare Rig:
We are accustomed to the tools of our modern age. Swiping through job search applications, hammering on our computers for e-mails and documentation, hopping from one networking event to another to boost our exposure, upskilling and upgrading to inch ahead from the pack. You name it, we have it these days. Yet, the tools God employs are far less sophisticated and simplistic in our eyes – worship, prayer, fasting, solitude and studying and meditating on His word the Bible. Zoning in on worship and prayer – what worship does is that it shifts your focus from self to God. Worship submits yourself before a sovereign God. You acknowledge the parts of your life you won’t with any one else. You yield, declare, pledge and resolve to rise in faith all within that act of worship. Prayer then distills that into poignant petitions facilitated with now an invigorated faith to hope beyond all else, that foremost God hears, and that He is able to respond according to our faith and act according to His will. To start – be consistent with your daily devotion. Build consistency from there and ask for more growth. It’ll come. Be ready.
3. God’s Wonderful Results:
The preparation and processes we adopt, almost consistently yields the outcome expected. Correspondingly by being in God’s Waiting Room and undertaking God’s Warfare Rig, you would come to expect to yield God’s Wonderful Results. The byproduct I believe, is actually the results – the blessing. The real prize is actually – growth in being His disciple, follower and child. That’s the true gold. But I hear you, the tangible results are just as important. So how do we know when it’s coming, how do we know it has arrived and how do we know if it’s meant for us? The answer is once again to – ask. If you’ve been faithfully committing to the 2 lessons, you will find that you are able to discern with so much more clarity. You will be able to sense God’s peace (not the feels kind when the AC is at the right temperature and a soothing music is playing in the background). You will be able to say, “If this is from You, let the next steps continue to come from You as well.” Consequently, you’d be able to do 2 things. First, give God the glory courageously to your world – family, friends, classmates, colleagues, clients and the community around you. Secondly, be free to release all of it back if ever you sense led to. Cause you know if He has done it now, He can so do it again and with even greater providence!
So, as I end here, let me tell you – I’ve grown just a little bit more to be able to say to myself “I don’t need to understand everything. But till I meet Jesus – I will for now trust, obey and follow. And to daily transform to be more like Him.” As I am perhaps speaking to you as well, let me assure you, that indeed – He is faithful, He is good. He is in control, He cares. He knows, He sees you. He may seem distant at times, for awhile, but truly He is with you. He is able. Trust, obey and follow my dear friend. May the Lord help me and you. In His name, Christ Jesus our Lord, Amen!
If you indeed are going through an overwhelming situation or season, and you are in need for a time of personal ministry, if I may offer you what I sense is an appropriate sermon that Biblically encapsulates my updates. Perhaps from the pulpit where the exposition of the Word of God and the ever present ministry of the Holy Spirit is available, you may find comfort and revelation for your own journeys as well. Here a recent December 2023 sermon from Ps Benny Ho of Faith Community Church, Perth – When Life Gets Overwhelming. https://youtu.be/y8vNnWO4IMc?si=YFP-h6ho5tSWwTKT
If you would like to ask me more on what I have just shared, feel free to contact me from your direct access to me or from the links provided from my website. Will make time for you or your loved ones on their journeys.
David Yong
December 2023
Image credit: unsplash.com/@acuriousape
